Book Lovers Sweatshirt, Bookish T Shirt, Librarian Shirt
At uni there was a group of four girls in my halls known as “The Book Lovers Sweatshirt, Bookish T Shirt, Librarian Shirt“. They were slim, conventionally attractive, feminine, confident and very bubbly and the men were obsessed with them. And then there was… me, a shy, average build and not very feminine woman, and I was invisible. Some men seemed actively disgusted that I had the nerve to even exist in the same sphere as these godesses, while the nicer men would be flirty and shy with The Angels and talk to me like I was just One Of The Lads, a non-threatening, sexless being. I did wonder if I should starve myself, start wearing dresses, feign more stereotypically feminine interests etc but I just felt so ugly that it all seemed hopeless and I was doomed to be The Book Lovers Sweatshirt, Bookish T Shirt, Librarian Shirt forever. Now I’m in my 40s and a bit more confident. I’ve learned to embrace my non-femininity and I feel more comfortable than I ever did feeling exposed in dresses and struggling to walk in heels. I enjoy my nerdy, “masculine” hobbies and thought the female colleagues who judged me for buying an Xbox were the ones missing out. And I have a wonderful partner who has never tried to change me… I still have no body confidence and struggle with self-esteem but it has got better. I see these incel types who think all women have to do to get laid is exist and they don’t realise that a lot of us women are invisible to them and struggle just as much as they do, we just tend to blame ourselves while they blame women. I wish they could also see that teenage insecurities do get better and let go of some of Book Lovers Sweatshirt, Bookish T Shirt, Librarian Shirt
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